Rising from the Ashes

Happy New Year to you all. Something light-hearted to start my 2011 posts. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed watching bits of the recent Ashes cricket series, so what better way to gloat over victory than with a few well-chosen (well-urned? groan) jokes I recently received:

What is the difference between Cinderella and the Aussies?
Cinderella knew when to leave the ball.

What do you call an Australian who can hold a catch?
A fisherman.

Why can no-one drink wine in Australia at the moment?
They haven’t got any openers..

Q. What would Jimmy Anderson be if he was Australian?
A. An all rounder.

Q. What is the main function of the Australian coach?
A. To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.

Q. Why don’t Australian fielders need pre tour travel injections?
A. Because they never catch anything.

Q. What’s the Australian version of LBW?
A. Lost, Beaten and Walloped.

Q. What do you call an Australian with 100 runs against his name?
A. A bowler.

Q. What’s the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Ponting?
A. The walk back to the pavilion.

Q. Who has the easiest job in the Australian squad?
A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.

Q. What do Australian batsmen and drug addicts have in common?
A. Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will come
from.

Q. Why are Australian cricketers cleverer than Houdini?
A. Because they can get out without even trying.

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